MEMBERSHIP

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If you are interested in joining The Abbey Our Lady of Lilacs, we recommend that you attend our events, observe Sisters in action, learn a little bit about what it is we do. Please engage any Sister or Brother in conversation, and request a hug when needed.  Get to know the Sisters. 

 

Your path towards Sisterhood starts with a conversation with the Mistress of Novices.  During this conversation with the Mistress of Novices you will be asked to attend one of our meetings.  At that time, you can declare your intentions. She can be contacted via the contact forms here on the Website.

 

Aspirant

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The Aspirant begins by declaring their intent to join at one of our meetings with a bag of jelly beans, homemade cookies, scratch and sniff stickers, stated preference of favorite color of glitter, and a giggle.   The Aspirant process, lasts for at least two months; during this time, you should be developing relationships with the Sisters, participating in our events, and watching how we work and operate.  You are highly encouraged to invest time in reading the history of the Sisters, watching videos, and to ask questions of each sister and brother in the house about their specific form of Ministry within the larger works of the Abbey -For each has their own!  At this stage, you are not a member and have no voting rights within the Abbey.  If we decide that you are a good fit, you will need to select a Fully Professed Member to be your sponsor sister, and then choose a Sister Name.

There are three steps that follow being an Aspirant to becoming a Sister, the entire process taking at least one year minimum.

 

Postulant

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As a Postulant, you are a Member of The Abbey of Our Lady of Lilacs, although you still have no voting rights but are required to entertain questions of the rubber chicken, whoopee cushions, sacred bags of confessional glitter, the occasional pot luck, and bribery of chocolate chip cookies (nestle tollhouse freshly baked are always desired). At this time you can choose your sister path; either the path of a nun or the path of a Guard.  In addition to continuing to further your relationships within the Abbey, you are required to attend at least three General Membership Meetings and three events.  You will manifest as a nun in all black with assigned headpiece, white lips (signifying in learning) this stage may last up to six months.  Near the end of that time, with your Sponsor Sister, Chuck the Masturbatory Chicken, and the blessing of the Mistress of Novices, you will be brought before the doors of the Abbey for elevation.  Should you, after admittance beyond the doors (and a bribe or two of coffee) get the two-thirds vote required, you will be elevated to Novice. You will need to find a Fully Professed Member to be your main sponsor, your “Big Sister”. Who will help guide you along the path towards figuring out your specific unique ministry in the greater realm of the work of the Abbey.  

 

Novice Sister

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The Novitiate begins to manifest the outward appearance of a Nun/Guard.  A Novice wears the whiteface, and has earned her lips, and wearing the novice wimple of the Abbey as a nun, although she is only allowed to wear a pure white veil and black attire, we suggest you get creative, and have fun with it. Sentries wear whiteface with and black makeup, one extra color optional, with lips. All black attire with a white bib.  All Guards during the Novice process are called Sentry. Despite this, the public still perceives you to be a Sister and your interactions will radically change.  The Novitiate lasts for a minimum of six months.  During this time you are a member without voting rights, you must attend at least six meetings and six events.  With your Big Sister’s help, you must also plan, organize, and throw an event/ fundraiser or Activity also known as a Novice Project.  Once you complete the requirements and have attained the blessing of the  Mistress of Novices and your Big Sister, you may ask with a bag full of jelly beans, the assistance of a rubber chicken, a vial or two of glitter, and an extra package whoopee cushions to be elevated to Fully Professed status.  As with the other steps, you will be voted upon by the membership; should you receive the two-thirds vote required, The blessings of Chuck, the masturbatory chicken & the Glory of the Holy Pickle, you will be elevated to Black squishy Veil.

 

Fully Professed (Black Veil)

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Although this is the last step in the formal process of becoming a Sister, it is the first step towards being a Sister.  As a Fully Professed Member of the Abbey of Our Lady of Lilacs, you have all of the rights and privileges of a Member: you may vote, represent The Abbey, and manifest, as you feel called to do so.  Formals are required for Special occasions.   Fully Professed Members also may hold office and help shape the direction and development of The Abbey.  Our Fully Professed Members serve the Abbey in many different roles; sometimes on their knees or bent over; or taken as a whole, they make the Abbey what it is. Today, tomorrow and for the future generations of Sisters that follow.

Once a Sister Always a Sister

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